Blog

Blog2018-12-22T06:28:53+00:00

Welcome to our Blog

Here we post articles and practical exercises for couples who wish to improve their marriage or relationship. Look through the title and beginnings of articles below, and click any title to read them. It’s good to know you’re not alone.

Get The Relationship You Want By Going Through The Mess

  The other day I was driving in a city I don’t know well. I had my map app on and I was headed to coffee. Much needed coffee!  Then there was a mess of road work in front of me. Lanes closed, cars merging, confused drivers, on and on...I’m sure you’ve all be there. The map was telling me to go through the mess but I was in a hurry and really wanted to get to the coffee.  On the map it looked like if I turned right, I could avoid going through the mess to get to [...]

The Dangerous Trap of Assumptions

One thing that I have often hear from my clients is that it is helpful when I’m teaching them a new concept or exercise that I give examples of these when it applies in my own relationship.  So, I thought why not share with all of you out there because maybe it will help you too. Just like every couple my husband Curtis and I have difficult issues we have to learn to navigate some of them are big, some of them are small and can even feeling petty at times.  I feel like in same ways as a [...]

Rebuilding Trust After An Affair

Hey everyone…this is Stacy Lee LMFT and Director of CICS…in this recording I am going to read a blog that was written by one of the therapists here, Michelle Joy.  you can either listen here, read it or both if you are an overachiever…  Rebuilding Trust After An Affair Finding out about an affair is often met with shock, devastation, and the sense that the relationship was never what they thought it was, and can never be the same again. There is also uncertainty in the relationship: where do we go from here? There are 3 directions [...]

5 Free Marriage Tips For New Parents:

Tip #1: Acknowledge that the first 6 months to a year after baby involves major adjustments of time and energy for everyone. Both of you are probably trying really hard to adjust to your new roles as parents. Women’s necessary bonding and connecting with baby takes up a lot of time and resources, and may leave mom feeling tapped out. Men often report feeling left out, but too guilty to say so. Both parents are often exhausted due to sleep deprivation and taking care of baby/children 24/7. Tip #2 Resources for me time and couple time are important for [...]

Creating a Balanced Relationship Through Gratitude

Since we’re coming out of Thanksgiving and into all the Christmas celebrations and craziness, gratitude is the perfect topic! I have a group text message with my husband and our best friends. My husband and our good friend Steven will send articles about politics and other things going on. Often times the articles are negative and about all the problems facing society. I have to admit that sometimes I don’t even want to open those messages because it’s hard to see all the struggles out there. Well today I had enough. Not because I think Curtis and Steven are [...]

Blame Will Blow Up Your Relationship

Blame is a Pseudo-Balm Bomb WTF?!?! Ok let’s break it down. What do I mean by a “pseudo-balm”? Let’s start with remembering how painful it can be to accept fault or responsibility. For most of us it’s very uncomfortable to feel the shame, sadness, and helplessness that comes with having done something that makes life difficult for another person or hurts them. Even worse when that other person is someone we love! This is pain that we might well wish to be rid of. So what psychological function does blaming others serve for us? By deflecting responsibility away from [...]

Top Three

Many couples complain about having problems communicating or having lost intimacy over time. Top Three is a communication exercise for couples to learn how to communicate about their experiences and learn about their partner. Top Three is an awareness and mindfulness exercise for self to increase presence. The goal of Top Three is to be more aware of experience as it is happening and be able to communicate about that to your partner. These are the rules (adapt to your style as you want): Use something to record – for example - small pad that fits in [...]