“Perspective influences belief and belief influences behavior.”
This statement has been on my mind lately. It’s not a groundbreaking concept, but it’s a timely reminder, especially with the recent election season and the holidays just around the corner.
Life is full of challenges, uncertainties, and moments of frustration. Often, it’s not the events themselves but the way you perceive them that shapes your experience. Shifting your perspective has the power to transform challenges into opportunities, uncertainty into curiosity, and resentment into gratitude. When you master the ability to shift your perspective, you gain a personal superpower—your experience is no longer dictated by external events.
I’ve seen firsthand how a simple shift in perspective can unlock new possibilities in relationships and personal growth. This change, while subtle, can ripple outward to transform your reality.
Perspective Shapes Reality
Perspective is, at its core, a way of looking at or thinking about something. How you interpret events directly impacts your beliefs and, consequently, your actions. Perspective is powerful, but it’s also deeply personal, shaped by your past experiences, culture, and values.
Your perspective acts like a filter, influencing how you view yourself, your relationships, and the world around you. Many people don’t realize how much this filter colors their interactions and interpretations.
One way I see this come up in relationships, including my own marriage, is how people keep their environments, requests changes to a partner and the meaning attributed to the relationship when the partner doesn’t do what is asked.
In my own marriage, shoes are a hot topic. My husband, Curtis, leaves his shoes in random places. It drove me crazy. I asked, explained, and even tried suggesting ways for him to organize them, but the shoes continued to appear where they didn’t belong. Early in our marriage, this seemingly small issue caused repeated arguments. I took his behavior as a sign that “I’m not important to him.” This perspective shaped my beliefs about our relationship and changed how I behaved toward Curtis.
Eventually, something had to change—and it did, starting with me.
Growth Through New Filter
Adopting a new perspective often requires stepping out of your comfort zone. It may involve questioning assumptions, seeking advice, or actively listening to others. One of the most powerful aspects of changing a perspective is its ability to break free from ineffective relationship patterns. When you’re stuck in a cycle of conflict or misunderstanding, changing your viewpoint can open up new avenues for connection and resolution.
In my “shoe saga,” I realized I couldn’t control Curtis’s behavior, and trying to do so was exhausting for both of us. I also realized I didn’t want to keep fighting over shoes—it simply wasn’t worth the emotional energy. So, I decided to shift my perspective.
Instead of seeing his scattered shoes as a sign of carelessness, disrespect, or lack of love, I reframed them as evidence that Curtis is part of my life—a life I’ve chosen to share with him—a life I want with him. I realized that if he left my life I would miss seeing his shoes around, because I would miss him. This small change in outlook was transformative. I still ask him to move his shoes, but I no longer feel angry about it. Because my reaction is calmer, Curtis is more willing to make an effort.
The situation hasn’t changed, but my experience of it has—and that’s the power of perspective.
Shifting your perspective empowers you to take control of your narrative. It allows you to see challenges as temporary and manageable rather than insurmountable roadblocks or a personal attack.
The Ripple Effect
Changing your perspective doesn’t just impact your mindset; it affects your actions and interactions, often influencing those around you. In my example, my shift in perspective changed not only how I approached Curtis but also how he responded to me. This led to a more peaceful and connected relationship.
Beyond relationships, a shift in perspective can improve your overall sense of peace and open doors to new opportunities. It’s a simple yet powerful tool that can help you navigate life’s unpredictability.
Powerful Life Tool
Ultimately, the power of shifting your perspective lies in its simplicity and accessibility. It doesn’t require a dramatic change in circumstances—just a willingness to see things differently.
Elections are won or lost. Holiday plans can go smoothly or completely blow up. Relationships feel close and connected or fractured and distant. At any given moment, things can go “your way” or feel like they’re completely falling apart. This can make life feel unpredictable and overwhelming. The power to shift your perspective changes that. It allows you to unlock new paths, find peace in chaos, and embrace life with renewed clarity and confidence.
How to Shift Your Perspective
- Pause and Reflect: When you feel stuck, ask yourself, “Is there another way to view this situation?”
- Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is very powerful in shifting perspective and helping you hold on to inner peace. Reframing your focus on what’s going well can help you see the bigger picture.
- Seek Diverse Opinions: Gaining insight from others can help you see things from a fresh angle. Experiment with “trying on” someone else’s perspective, even if only temporarily.
- Repetition: Shifting your perspective takes practice. When old habits resurface, remind yourself of the new perspective you want to adopt. Take a deep breath and repeat the new outlook to yourself a few times.
Challenge for Today: Take one frustrating situation and ask yourself, “How can I view this differently?” Notice how this shift changes your attitude—and your outcome.
As always, if you find you need more support, reach out to us…We Can Help!
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Stacy Lee has been helping couples and individuals create flourishing relationships and communication since 2006. She has been a vital part of helping clients reconnect and stay connected while transitioning through many difficulties in life, such as examining and healing trauma and broken trust, navigating difficulties in parenting, establishing healthy boundaries and increasing intimacy.